an open letter to CTV News

To whom it may concern:

I'd really like to know when you are going to stop broadcasting fearmongering, propaganda and other useless information on your newshour and when you are actually going to start telling us what is really going on out there.

I guess I was paying too much attention to the 11 o'clock news last night because I had wisely put away my SOTIii by that point, having had to frog the last row I was working on twice. Well, let me tell you, your news programme is excrutiating to watch when sober and not otherwise occupied.

(And now for a break from my sponsor, John Fluevog!!!)

First off, we get treated to yet another segment on "The Winter Olympics is coming to Vancouver only two years from now!" Your "countdown" included:

(a) a bunch of useless blather about how great it is that Canada has yet again gotten the Olympics;

(b) some propaganda to sign up for the "volunteer draft" (draft! Don't we hear enough about the military now that we're at war?) so that we can go to Vancouver at our own expense and work 13 10-hour shifts in a month, for free;

(c) the fact that the mayor of Vancouver is in a wheelchair;

(d) construction of the athlete's village and how it is going to create all sorts of wonderful affordable housing that will last for 50 years (just like in Athens a few years back I guess... and those huts started to fall apart less than a year after moving the people in; and

(e) oh, and did we mention that the Mayor of Vancouver is in a wheelchair?

Twelve minutes of Olympics right at the outset of the news - WITHOUT ANY ADVERTISEMENTS. This must be the first time in 10 years that CTV went for more than 4 minutes without a "break". Usually it doesn't seem to matter: election, war, insurrection, terrorism... by 11:04 we're treated to ads exhorting us to lose weight, get credit cards, buy insurance for our funerals, mortgage our houses we've spent the last 40 years paying for, etc. etc.

(and on that topic, why don't you ever run ads with useful information?


I mean, if we're all going to sign up for those pre-paid credit card swipe things, we might as well spend the money on something useful - that doesn't require weight loss, by the way.)

Anyway, finally at 11:15 what I consider to be the "news" started.

This is when my diet coke can nearly got hurled at the screen. You told us this:

The Conservative government and opposition Liberals appear to be on their way to reaching a deal on the Afghan mission. Prime Minister Stephen Harper says he is open to introducing a new motion on the mission that would include concerns laid out by Liberal Leader Stephane Dion.


No big surprise that the Liberals are caving out of their "let's pull out soon" stance. My huge beef is that the reporter characterised Mr. Dion as a "statesman" for this move. News to me that it is "statesmanlike" to pander to the other side!!!!! Where would we all be at if people like this guy:

had done the same thing? Shame on you, Stephane! Is it just that your party told you they're not ready for a non-confidence motion and an election in the next three months?!?!

This item, by the way, lasted 90 minutes. If allocation of time is an indication of importance of the story, our ongoing presence in Afghanistan (despite growing public unease with it) is eight times less important than the fact that we are hosting the winter Olympics in two years.

Of course, there was a heavy dose of corporate news as well:

- GM is losing money (aka "possibly 75,000 less jobs in the next while")
- Bell Canada has breached the security of over 3 million people by "losing" customer information (aka "your money might be stolen out of your bank account").

I was almost relieved to see the next round of ads.

Surely you were actually going to tell us some useful and important news in the local segment?

Well, this is what you told us:

(a) it's snowing.

(b) did we mention that it is snowing?

(really?!?!?

Oh! It had been snowing! I hadn't realise that when I trudged climbed over big snowbanks went to and came home from work yesterday, so thanks for that!

(c) be careful when you're driving because it's snowing.

(d) there's been a lot of snow in Toronto.

(e) Toronto is running out of money to clean all the snow (really?! I hadn't noticed they'd actually been cleaning it, actually).

(f) however, consider yourselves lucky because in Kawartha Lakes the municipal snow removers are on strike and the stubborn mayor doesn't care because someone is keeping his parking space cleared.

(g) the airport is in a mess because it's snowing, but they're working hard to shovel all the snow.

This was the first fifteen minutes of the newscast. You devoted six of your reporters' time to standing outside all day and talking about the weather!!! Do we really need to hear 15 minutes about how bad the weather is when we are all already suffering from snow madness?!?

And then... you put on Dave Deval with the weather.



Now, I like Dave OK - but why not give him the night off when all the other reporters are covering the weather anyway?! Sheesh!

Then for the requisite "be afraid...be very very afraid!" component:

(a) big child porn bust. But there are another 4,000 child pornmongers out there in Toronto who tell their children "I love you" on the internet and win them over.

(b) violent fugitive on the loose in Hamilton

(c) woman dies in apartment fire

And then a plug for the new credit card swipe thing. On the news, mind you - not in an advertisement!

This is when I finally turned off the programme, realising that I was going to get no useful information and that ten minutes of hockey news was to follow.

So, this is why I will no longer be watching your newscast. Please advise me if and when you decide to actually start showing news again. Until then, I'll be tuning into this station:


Yours very truly,

Kristina Brouhaha

the knitting and spending (mis)adventures of Brouhaha

Well, last evening was all fun and games at the House of Brouhaha, I must tell you. First off, I started to swatch the Secret of the Stole II mystery project.

The swatch called for was meant to measure approximately 7" x 5.5". Here's my first attempt, using 3.25mm needles:


Why did I stop part way through? Because I'm a lazy@ss slacker Because, with my usual stunning attention to detail, it took me approximately 10 rows to notice a big big boo-boo. This dayglo overexposed alien photo will probably show it better. The background of the pattern is meant to be all stockinette.
See what I did wrong? Sigh. How did I manage to skip out one of the "easy" (non-YO) rows that I look so forward to?

Perhaps it was my yiayia (grandmother) putting a jinx on me for having taught myself to knit despite her best efforts against this endeavour:

(This is the engagement photo of my yiayia and papou on my father's side. My yiayia lived with us for a year or so way back when and did beautiful knitting and lacework. I asked her to teach me how and she refused, saying that this was a pastime only for uneducated people and that I should focus on my studies instead. I was resentful of this at the time and went ahead and taught myself to knit - although in later years I got her point and found it rather sad. This photo now hangs in my office as a reminder of my origins - and also because I think yiayia would be proud that her photo is hanging in a lawyer's office!)

Anyway, I didn't like the tightness of the fabric on that one, so did another swatch with 3.5mm needles.

My (lack of) patience with swatching, as you will note, is truly astounding. I managed to get through about 10 rows before packing it in... to work on something a tad simpler - the Gathered Pullover by Hana Jason:

This is my progress on the front/back of the sweater, knitted in the round. It is going very quickly. I've also made quite some progress on the sleeves, thanks to the increasingly slow service offered by the TTC:

These remind me of Santa Smurf hats at present. They were actually supposed to be knitted in the round on DPNs but I have found the experience of working with those very traumatic and avoid it at all costs.

And - here is the cable panel detail (halfway through the panel)!
I've done this without a cable needle! It's like magic!

In other news: earlier in the day I popped up to . I was just looking for a book [ED: come off it! If you want to buy a book, go to the bookstore, not the yarn store. Do you really thing you're kidding anyone?!?]

Anyway, the book I was looking for, alas, was not in stock. However, just as I was heading out the door, the following yarn leapt into my hands called out my name caught my eye.


So, despite the fact that I have six other skeins of Alchemy Silken Straw in the stash, I just had to snap this up. Can you blame me? The name of the colour is "Clio's Fancy"! I think I'll use it to make a short sleeved top along the lines of the Oriel Lace Blouse but with a different stitch pattern (this pattern, by the way, is why I bought the other Alchemy in the first place. Now I find the stitch pattern a tad too femmy for my tastes... so, we'll see.

(An aside: I don't know why I've become completely addicted to lace knitting - or at least the concept of it. So much so, in fact, that I joined up for aYear of Lace 2008 club yesterday. Just what I needed - more laceweight yarn! 6.9 km of Handmaiden products just aren't enough... but there is at least one pattern by Sivia Harding - the creator of the River Rock Scarf and one of my big heroes. Anyway, it beats the Fruit of the Month Club! And - I'm shopping Canadian (the shop is in Calgary...).

[ED: Enough with the rationalisations!] By the way, JJ didn't even ask me what I wanted to use his credit card for, unusually. I think he simply doesn't want to know about any more yarn coming into the house. Puir wee JJ!

Anyway, so today is a new day:


and Asteriz et al are fleeing from the oppressors! I live with one (at least, he keeps insisting he is Viking in heritage, as opposed to Irish, which is closer to the truth, methinks) so Asterix has a point when he says "Those Vikings are crazy!"

This morning on the way to work I rather stupidly walked by the John Fluevog shop.



I've been coveting these ones for months, and now they're on sale!!! They had better have them left in my size...and aren't these ones cute?


Hmm. Where is that JJs credit card when I need it?!?

And - I wonder what he'd think if I came home with this fancy chandelier this evening?


At $1,100.00, I don't think I'll chance it.

Happy Friday to all!

'vogs and holiday book acquisitions

Well, although I have not been to the LYS for about 3 1/2 weeks (some kind of record!), that does not mean I have not been spending. Quelle surprise.

In this regard, I went to John Fluevog on Queen Street yesterday to check out the Boxing Day sale!

Well, guess what - no deals left for me, given that it was 7 January (almost two weeks after the sale started!) and I do not have size 12 feet. Alas.

But don't feel too sorry for me. I did manage to acquire two sets of beauties (at the full price):

These are the Saint Michael loafers.

These - I forget the name. They're so new, apparently, that they are not yet on the website! Hee hee hee.

My rationalisation - I did not spend anywhere near all the money I had allocated myself for the trip. Of course, I did manage to spend some of it, mostly on books. I don't know what it is about travelling that makes me purchase books en masse. I needed one extra suitcase for books coming back (and one, of course, for British crisps and chocolates as you will remember if you've already read this post).

Here is one of my new purchases:

I thought the title was very appropriate. I'm hoping to acquire a sewing machine in the near future.

To balance this off, a book by a true Domestic Goddess:
She rocks! And meals in 30 minutes? I like. Anyone who can midnight snack all the time and look as sexy as her is a true hero in my book.

Another purchase for the workplace:

Handy for staff meetings, I thought.

And, being the ever generous person that I am, I did not leave JJ out of the bounty:

with such gems of wisdom as:

Don't drop cigarette-ash all over the living room carpet. Some people will tell you that it improves the colours...

Huh?!? Why didn't JJ buy that excuse when I gave it to him after the last Tenant Advocate Summit at the pub ("Oh aye?!?  Last time ah was at the paint shop ah didnae see the colour 'ashtray', hen.  Two and a half million colours, mind ye, and no 'ashtray'.  Mebbe ye should write all the paint companies.  Ye could make millions and ah cuid retire...")???

...but your wife won't care to try that recipe.

Oh. I see.

Don't refuse to eat cold meat once in a way (sic) if you are home to that meal. Unless you keep a large staff or domestics, you can't always have a hot meal both at midday and in the evening.

Dang tootin'!!!

Don't expect to understand every detail of the workings of your wife's mind. A woman arrives at things in diffferent ways, and it is useless to worry her with "Why?" does she think this or that.

Hmm... how many self help books have I seen on the shelves with that theme?

Don't "talk down" to your wife. She has as much intelligence as your colleague at the office; she lacks only opportunity.

Seems pretty progressive, actually, for the time period - let's have a look at the conclusion of this paragraph:

Talk to her (explaining when necessary) of anything you would talk of to a man, and you will be surprised to find how she expands.

(...in the fields of sports, peeler bars and gossip?!?)

Actually, not all that bad considering the time period in which it was written. I've seen Oprah and Dr. Phil come out with worse stuff. Who wrote this, anyway?

Blanche Ebbutt

Well - that explains a lot.

But lest you think that I'm picking on JJ by buying this book, I did buy something similar for myself as well:

I'll save the nuggets of wisdom from that one for a future post, I think. This one is getting a tad out of control.

In parting, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish a very happy birthday to Shirley Bassey, one of my favourite singers. Her name may not spring to mind, but doubtless you remember the theme song from James Bond Goldfinger? That was her. And if you don't remember that, perhaps this will refresh your memory:

Please have a couple for me, Ms Bassey!