work craft blasts from the past and other beauties

Hello all: and happy anniversary to Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip, who was a former prince of Greece although he is not Greek. Go figure. I like to think of myself as a Princess of Greece, but am sad to report that they missed my respective families in the selection process for this high honour.

Now for a news flash!!! Apparently, rubber duckies
are now threatened by mass destruction and decimation!! Click (here
to see how you can help!!

And now for some craft blasts from the past. My Duty Counsel colleague Adelaide (who is the longest serving permanent Tenant Duty Counsel in Ontario and a staunch defender both of tenants' rights and of the rights of her coworkers, has kindly agreed to model for this photo of one of my knits (which is now hers):


Doesn't she look lovely? And isn't that a fancy purse? (I had nothing to do with selecting her purse, I'm sad to confess.)

The knitted T-shirt she is modelling was a staff gift in honour of her 65th birthday last year (and that in itself will tell you how committed she is to tenants - still on the job every day).

It was knitted in Brown Sheep Cotton Fleece and is a close cousin to this top that I kept for myself:

Sideways top
Originally uploaded by BespokeByBrouhaha

Both were made from a pattern from Knitters' Magazine, Spring 2005 edition.



Next up is a little something I'm taking to the office today to put up: a felted bulletin board!

This is a Treasure from Trash made last summer or thereabouts. I scored a (rather ugly, to my view) sweater at Goodwill, and decided to felt it and sew pieces back together as a little sewing exercise. I have put this up on the blog before (I can't find the post for it!) but like the floating effect in this newer picture better... heh heh.

And here is some Frankensteinish detail. It's supposed to be herringbone stitch but it turned out more like cross-stitch, unfortunately.
And some more lame sewing:


detail

However, the end result should jazz up the office (not that it probably needs it...)

And now onto something that will never jazz up my office, courtesy of the Presto cookbook which has fascinated me so greatly over the past few days...

Now - this I have to confess I like - at least the colour. But I can never acquire a serving dish which resembles an indentured servant for my house. My leftie credentials would be shot completely. I'd probably lose my job and end up having to find my own cart to push around to collect beer and liquor bottles to pay my rent.

This, on the other hand, would be an excellent addition to my household:
I think it's really cute. I can only hope that I will be the first one to spot it when they put it out at the Value Village. There might be bloodshed if I view it in someone else's cart...

And now for something completely different...

A destroyed law text! While ripping it to shreds, I half expected the Law Lords of Centuries Past to throw scrolls down upon my head...

I'm now having fun plotting to deface it further. Stay tuned.

I do hope that Adelaide approves... I haven't shared my nefarious plan with her as yet. And here is another "strike the pose!" shot...



You'll note the fancy beautiful purse in the righthand most side of the photo, on the table. Just in case you thought I walked away with it...

And, in parting, someone far less pretty than Adelaide. I came up with Kristina's first Photoshop item ... (I downloaded a free trial last night...) which my Canadian friends might get a kick out of:


(For others, "Carmen Mulroney" is an ex-Prime Minister who has been in the news again of late because he has some questionable past associates. The Man in the Moon is our current PM, Harper).



Cheers,

Kristina

rubbing salt in my wounds...and Homage to a Gerbera

And, just to start off with a digression - because it's my blog and I can do it! And no one is marking me, and a tenant's living situation does not rely on my being able to organize my thoughts here into something approaching cohesion... but I'm digressing already (what do you call a digression into a digression...?? hmm). SIGH. Anyway, here is my latest finished craft endeavour:
More about "the making of" at the end of the post. But first, another ramble about vintage cookbooks - sort of.

Let me first say that I have always admired those "Martha" types (and way before Martha came on the scene, mind you) who actually have matching tableware and fancy versions of such basic things as salt and pepper shakers.

(I keep trying to steal my mother's sterling silver ones but she has taken to conducting a full luggage search before I return to Toronto after visiting her.)

So, while chortling anew at some of the food photos in the Presto Cookbook I acquired recently, I started to notice some of the artistic details and the fancy accoutrements in the photos of the food.

Check out, for example, this giraffe on the cereals page.

Now, I can't quite figure out what this is meant to be. At first I thought maybe a milk pourer, but unless the milk comes out of the eyes in drips, I can't see a spout. Let's take a closer look:

I still can't see anything. Hmm... maybe a cornstarch shaker in the event the oatmeal is not quite thick enough? (although I must say that the grout I mixed this morning for my Homage to Gerbera probably had a less gluey consistency than that bowl of oatmeal...).

I shall have to ask JJ, my resident expert on all things Scottish, including oatmeal. He will likely tell me that it is some esoteric tradition that people in Scotland stopped doing 200 years ago, but which thrives on generations later in the diaspora.

Moving along: here is a series of fancy salt and pepper shakers:

(a) The Classics

I like these ones. It means that you don't have to rely on that confusing "how many holes in the top" code to figure out which is which. And the identical number of holes add some symmetry.

(b) Calves - and an unknown creature

I can't really tell which is which... but aren't they cute? Awwww...

As for the red thing on the far right - any guesses? It looks kind of like a Buddha to me but I can't figure out the link between calves and the Buddha. However, I was glad to note that my photography skills are pretty much identical to those of the 1950s professional food photographer who must have taken this picture... we both cut off heads!

(c) Mr. Rooster and Mrs. Hen

Hard to see the details what with the identical fancy stripes in the underlying tablecloth (sadly, they don't carry fancy striped tablecloths in the "Vinyl" section of the dollar stores I shop at...).

Note the symmetry of the release holes for the salt and pepper - but no way to tell them apart! This could lead to hours of fascinating conversation at your next dinner party about the construct of gender in North American society - and days if you incorporate international considerations! Is the hen meant to carry the salt (like Lot's wife... or did she turn into a pillar of salt? I can never remember) or is the hen meant to carry the pepper, denoting spiciness (or, for that matter, to stuff into the mouths of her foul-mouthed little chicks - in Greek tradition, pepper is used instead of soap for this purpose. I still do not curse in front of my mother!!!)

Better cut this off and move along...

Anyway, after this display of grandeur, I am quite embarrassed to show you my salt and pepper dispensers:

(And, before you say anything - yes, I know that the pepper one is filled with salt, and vice versa. That is my attempt at confusing the odd person (and that person must be very, very odd indeed to actually accept an invite to the Lair of Brouhaha and See Ya Jimmy) which get into the Inner Sanctum. I also have salt in my sugar bowl, and vice versa. My favourite holiday, aside from Payday, is April Fools' Day... or is it Hallowe'en??? Dang...)

Well, they sort of match, anyway. There's green on both of them.

And, I have to say that these things (which you can buy for about 5 bucks with salt or pepper already loaded!) work far better than the pepper mill I bought a few years back for $30. I would show it to you but it got flung off the balcony shortly afterward. As JJ at the time said, "Oh well, at least the raccoons can season their food now." But it looked something like this.

This pepper mill thing seems a big business these days, actually. I mean, check out this blurb! As you will probably gather, the red insert is my editorial commentary.

Finally, I can sleep now... er... a consistent grind every time with this new u'Select pepper mill from Peugeot, a highly respected manufacturer of steel grinding mechanisms since their first table pepper mill was made in 1874. Do you think they sell high-end Peugeot bikes with an attachment to carry around your pepper mill for those culinary emergencies? Hmm... This 9in/23cm high rich dark wood pepper mill (just picture the "mine is bigger than yours!" potential...!!!) features the patented u'Select stainless steel mechanism, designed to crack the whole peppercorns prior to the precision grinding action (sounds a bit cruel, no?), which has six distinct grind settings (that would be five more grind settings than my coffee grinder, which is actually a mortar and pestle. Or at least it was the last time I ran out of coffee and diet coke at the same time and started pounding JJs stash of chocolate covered coffee beans in desperation. He was not best pleased.)...

Comes ready to use partially filled with peppercorns. (for $50 you think they could fill the thing to the top, no? The President fills his and they only cost $5.00!

Anyway, I was amazed to see that they even sell electric ones now!! How lazy do you have to be? ...

Um, on second thought, maybe it's time to think about getting churched (as opposed to shacking, which I do currently) so that I can sign up for a registry and cash in on some kitchen gadgets....!

But, for the time being, my humble salt and pepper mills work just fine. What beats me is that they tell you on the label to refill "three to four times only". Which is it? And why??? I must have refilled these two at least 20 times by now.

They probably just want to part me with my hard-earned money by purchasing more useless grinders, I guess. But if I did that, I'd wind up sinking into penury and having to take up a second job. Which might not be a bad thing, because it might force me up off my lazy @$$ and out to try to sell some of my mosaics.

On that topic: my Homage to a Gerbera started life as this $3.00 acquisition from the Goodwill on Saturday:

It was very pretty as is. But of course I could not leave well enough alone. So, I had to stick broken china all over it - OPA!

I was of half a mind to leave it like this as it looked pretty and uncharacteristically subtle. However, it lacked some zing. So - I mixed cadmium blue and cadmium red artist pigment with white grout powder and came up with some purple grout which I thought a decent contrast for the fuschia flower:

I love these ornate handles on the old teacups. Patrizia at Zia Mosaics very cleverly sells little packets of broken china for $1.50 apiece... and the ones I bought on Saturday contained these two pieces. I was thrilled.

And, here's a final look back at the piece in all its glory:It will look quite nice hanging up at the office, don't you think?

On that note - a happy Monday to you! And, just so you know, today marks the anniversary of the birth of King Charles I in 1600. King Charles was only one of the proud forebears of Prince George, my favourite Royal.

helpmeetly duties in the 21st century

First off, in case you were starting to think that I had forgotten that this is a craft blog, here are some pics of the stuff I did yesterday:

(a) the World's Smallest Curve of Pursuit

(Looks like Sir John Eh? tied one on last night... again. To be fair, maybe he was just tired out from fulfilling all those official duties...)

Made in Dale Svale Stork (fingering) cotton on 2.5 mm needles. I'm glad to report that there have been (as yet, anyway) no innocent victims of craftdaftness resulting from the wider project - a series of miniature knits.

This is a photo of it on top of its proud mother, my Curve of May Colours. The original is 60" x 60"...


... the new one 4" x 4". Cute, eh?

(b) a Treasure from Trash! (in progress)


I scored the materials for this yesterday at the Goodwill (and for a photo essay on Brouhaha's shopping exploits yesterday you could always click here if either really, really bored or trying to avoid housework):
It still needs some grout.

So, on to today's main topic...

When perusing recently the communal book swap/library that Jennifer and I set up at work as part of our joint Social Convenor duties, I was thrilled to find this:

A vintage cookbook. I love these things. Never mind that this book swap was in great part set up because Jennifer and I felt we had to divest ourselves of out-of-control amounts of cookbooks at our respective pads... I just couldn't resist!

No date on the book, alas. I'd put it at early 1950s. But I guess it really doesn't need a date, because the information it contains is timeless, not to mention priceless.

I mean get a load of this:

Where on earth are these vegetables grown, anyway?! (Actually, it's not on earth. Rather, you'll find them in the The 49th Dimension, where the corn is puny and the shrimp are raw.)

But really, I shouldn't jest. Maybe if I actually consult this book, I will acquire some gourmet hausfrau tips. Goddess knows I could work on some of those helpmeetly skills. I mean, I have the knitting and crochet down pat (although sewing does present a bit of a challenge), but as I near my 40th year I can't help but think that some other essential skills are lacking. And if I start working on them now, I should be Queen of the Homemakers by 2010 when I turn 40!

And besides, the women all looked so happy back then!
Um... well, most of the time they did. Unfortunately, there is no caption for this picture. And check out the bottle!

I mean, I've never had kids, so I don't really know... but it strikes me that it's not appropriate to heat a baby bottle to boiling point. Am I wrong?

And... is that a fist I see hiding under the dishcloth?

Ah - it's all crystal clear now (NB: I don't really know what "crystal clear" means. I have no crystal in my house. I did have some but some wanker smashed it one night at a party when I was playing greek music. Plates, you moron, plates - not glassware!!!). Where was I? Oh yes.

This must be the missing caption:

"That'll teach you for making me play 'airplane' for the 57th time today, kid... "

Would you just shut up and eat, already?!?!?!? If Mommy misses seeing Victor and Nikki's wedding again on Y&R, you're going to your room until you turn 18 and I kick your worthless @$$ onto the street..."

As you can see, there are very good reasons why I've chosen not to have kids!

And now for a short break from our sponsor... the back of the Presto book!
I want to be a model for a Presto ad!

Look how fun it is to do housework!!!

(where is that #$&*^$#&@*#$&^#* comb?! I bet JJ found it under the toilet tank and confiscated it lest I glue it to a table or something...)

Hmm... I might not be dressed quite the part, though...


Maybe they'd go for something like this instead?

Um... maybe not. Unless, of course, the product is called "Mommy's Dirty Little Secrets"...

Sigh - I'm not really picking up this hausfrau thing too swiftly, am I?

Well, I'm not quite sure how to operate the iron, anyway. My mother gave it to me when visiting eight years ago or so. She was horrified when she went looking for my iron only to find that I didn't have one. I had lived alone for five years at the time. To spare her feelings I lied and said that the ex got the iron in the split-up. She then reminded me that the split up had happened three years previously. I am a bad, bad daughter.

Oh well. I'd rather use the iron like this, anyway.

And now back to Law and Order SVU Season 2, which I've seen at least three times already...

Or, rather, back to the Presto Cookbook. I love these old cookbooks. The photography is so appetizing. Let's see - I haven't had breakfast yet (unless you count the nougat bar with jujubes...) so perhaps I can find something tasty here:


Then again, maybe not. I'm reminded of the time I was hospitalised for anorexia way back. Every day I had to eat mass quantities of some hot cereal - it seemed like at least a litre a day but my mind was probably playing tricks on me. They told me it was a different grain every day, but they all looked and tasted the same - like mucilage. I'd try to sneak off and throw it away but when I turned the bowl upside down it didn't move. And let me tell you that it certainly did not come in fancy bowls with balloons on it either!

And now for a little public service message for anyone reading this who has an eating disorder and has not quite come to terms with it yet. I lack the words to describe the supreme irony of not eating for months while constantly cooking elaborate and delicious meals and desserts for other as some sort of feat of manic strength and not being able to sleep for visions of eating tasty food - only to be forced to gain weight on hospital food, of all things. This will probably happen to you as well - unless you die trying to reach that elusive magic weight. So - think about it. Please.

Well, that was heavy, wasn't it? Sorry...I was just disgusted to see this recent news item where an israeli model died from anorexia. I'm not linking it because the photographs are very disturbing. What a waste.

On that note, I'd better start planning dinner...how about some soup? It's chilly today...


Hmm... blood and bile with swirls of pus? Nah...but let me see if I can find anything that appeals within the section...

- Oyster Chowder
- Southern Okra Gumbo
- Gumbo... maybe... but with oysters? Nope.

To top it off, the Soup and Chowder section is in that mysterious land where any spice save Salt and Pepper apparently fear to tread.

Next - meat. Well, there's plenty of that in the deep freezer...


Hmm... all I can really say is that I've never seen a roast beef served on a bed of cucumber and whole radish before. Hmm. Well, I'll turn the page (skipping the photographed selections, methinks...).

A bit more exotic than the Soup section, at any rate:

- Norwegian Meatballs (which appear to be meatballs boiled in milk and cream. Next...)
- Swiss Steak No. 1
- Swiss Steak No. 2 (which appears to be the same as Swiss Steak No. 1 except that it also features a cup of tomato soup and "2 T. cornstarch". 2 tablespoons?!?!? Must be a hangover from the Cereal page...)

Another exoticism: Porcupine Meatballs - oh, those racy 50s housewives! What were they doing, hanging out at the side of the highway looking for roadkill??

Moving on...some items that no 50s cookbook would be complete without:

- Savory (sic) Beef Neck
- Economy Pork Steak
- Beef Liver
- Devilled Lamb Neck Slices (have you ever had lamb neck? I make it quite often as I love lamb and it's a cheap homestyle greek dish. However, if you don't do it in the crockpot or, failing that, in the oven for about five hours, you might as well buy a pack of chewing gum and save yourself the trouble. This recipe calls for 15 minutes cooking time. I'm sceptical...)
- Stuffed Beef Heart (the minute I left home, I vowed that never again would organ meat pass my lips. It is perhaps the one vow I have never broken).
- Fresh Tongue (nah, although I'm sure it's far better than that stale tongue in all the other cookbooks...)

and finally (drumroll, please...)

- Pigs in a Blanket. That time honoured favourite. However, paradoxically, this recipe calls for round steak wrapped in bacon. So, shouldn't it be "Cow in a Blanket"?

The next section, luckily, looks intriguing:

"Combination" of what? you may well ask? I certainly did, looking at the above photo. Vegetables and vegetables? Meat and blobs of unknown origin? Meatballs and blood?

Let's peek within to try to shed some light on this mystery:

More international exoticism!!!
- Belgian Stew (with beef neck and carrots)
- Sauerbraten (German beef stew)
- 3 - count 'em - 3 versions of Chop Suey!!!!! (American, Fancy and Plain. The only difference I can see is that the Fancy has three types of meat instead of one. All share copious amounts of canned vegetables in common. And, isn't chop suey all American anyway?)

And some more stuff I've never heard of before (with good reason, in my opinion):
- Corn Cabbage
- Squash with Pineapple

Chicken is starting to look pretty good right about now...

Check out the cooking time table!!


Let's zoom in, shall we?

Qu'est-ce que c'est "gosling"? I have no idea. Where is JJ when I need him - he's up on all this weird anglo food. I would call him at work but undoubtedly I'd either interrupt the Spider Solitaire Security Guard Classic Championship Finals, or wake him up. This will have to wait...


Well, that's one way to get them onto the plate, I guess. I can just hear JJ now: "Puir wee pheasant, smothered before its time. Are ye planning to make a mosaic effigy with the bones, then, lassie?"


Shiskabugs!!! Where's my Hasen Pfeffer?!?!?!

Puir wee Bugs Bunny. I don't want any harm coming to him. He did have the guts to go around in
drag in the 1940s, after all. You might call him a role model of mine...

Next...

I've got some frozen shrimp I scored at Loblaws a while back ...


Frozen shrimp, blood and Ritz crackers - all hauled in by a serf. No thanks.

I don't really like vegetables, but I'm getting desperate here:
The flowers look nice anyway.

There are recipes for 28 vegetables. The recipes are all identical except for the main ingredient. Here's a sample:

Potatoes (small)
small whole new potatoes
1 cup water
salt

I kid you not. Oh wait, I lie to you. Some of the recipes are a bit different:

Peas (green)
Fresh peas
1/2 cup water
salt

I guess it's dessert for dinner again...

What the hell is "steamed bread"??? Is it that stuff that weighs about a pound for a small slice and sits in your stomach for days afterward? Not in this house...give me a Viennetta or some Cadbury's any old day.

And finally...

Maybe I'm out of it, but isn't a "fruit recipe" a dessert? (by the look of the photo, maybe not - especially when served swimming in Vaseline and food colouring).

Damn it all.