Stroll to Work, part ii - and the inner sanctum of Brouhaha...

Hi all:

When last we met with our intrepid heroine (to wit, me) she was on her way to work and was just about to cross Spadina. But you must bear with me for a brief craftual pause.

She then mysteriously got transported to The 49th Dimension, where she was able to finish (finally!) this blanket:

Another stashbusting project - the Ugly Argyle Repurposed Sweater Blankie. It started life as an argyle sweater in progress. An argyle sweater, mind you, with entrelace seed stitch and stockingnette stitch panels. What the hell was I thinking! I hated this knit from minute one - to top it off for some reason it ended up looking like about five sizes too big... so I shoved it into a box where it stayed lo these many years (at least five or six).

I rediscovered it recently, and decided to start a log cabin border. This got tiresome very quickly so I decided to crochet the rest instead. Finished size approximately 36"x36}! I can't remember what brand of yarn it was - probably Zellers Finest 100% acrylic. The crocheted part is formed of various worsted weight half-balls of wool, cotton, etc from the stash. I don't remember who came up with the pattern.

But where was I? Oh yeah - at Spadina and King. So, I continued along my less than merry way to work - wearing my magic newsboy cap!Extra, extra - read all about it!!

Stop digressing, Kristina! SIGH. When crossing Spadina westward toward my office, this is the first thing I see:

Another ad for a proposed condo building. Quelle surprise. What a high falutin' name for a condo complex, though....

But check out the young woman in the ad sipping her latte! She surely has no recollection of the days of austerity heralded by the "V sign" (neither do I, mind you, but I can read a history book...). Lady - are you looking for a condo here? If so, all those soldiers fighting all those wars have finally made it possible for you to enjoy the lifestyle you'd like to become accustomed to in a unit half the size of this guy's suit closet:


You've come a long way, baby!!!

But hark - I see my office!!!

Oops, wrong office. That would be the "one Friday afternoon every month boardroom" where the tenant advocates meet and discuss highly pressing and sensitive legal issues...

The tenant advocates used to have a different boardroom on the odd Friday afternoon. It was a pub known as Toad in the Hole, and featured a pool table, dart boards, and a quiet, nicely shabby ambiance that spoke of many pleasures past. Now it looks like this:

A condo development in waiting, no doubt.

This stretch of King Street West is a part of our fair city in transition. Thus, you see neighbourhood one-of-a-kind businesses like this:

... within 1/2 block of high falutin' chain shops like this:

If you're looking for a leather jacket, you can probably save yourself $500 by picking one of them. Guess which one?

Having said that, Perfect Leather does not feature these photos of fabulous people with (presumably) very fancy lifestyles in its windows:

I imagine they're all set to move into the Victory condos when they get built three years from now.

(And yes, this is the same place as the Hide House. It used to be called Acton Leather and the first shop was in Acton, Ontario, a sleepy little place northwest of Toronto. Someone must have clued them in along the way that in order to have credibility in Condoland one must rid oneself of any homey type names. But they forgot to remove the logos on the side of the store... which is next door to a Cooper Mini dealership, by the by.)

This "gentrification" (but I prefer the term "condofication" in this area of town, at least) has also affected the character of coffee joints in my work 'hood. In this regard, I'm reminded of one of JJs favourite tunes, Loch Lomond (as performed by Runrig - and highly recommended they are by me as well!). To paraphrase:

Ye'll take the high road...

... and ah'll tek the low...

... and ah'll be a' the Smoke Shop afore ye!

(wi' an extra loonie or so which will pay for mah mid mornin' Diet Coke...)
Guess which coffee shop I frequent?

And, here is another (welcome, to me, anyway) sign that this neighbourhood still retains its less than salubrious characteristics:

A peeler bar!!!

(Ahem, excuse me, a very high end "gentlemen's club"... just ask the Toronto police officer who had recently been alleged of assaulting a dancer there and threatening her with a gun. He had a good reason to be there, mind you. According to both him and his lawyer, they carry delicious chicken wings. I'll never find out, given the $10 cover and $10.00 per bottle of beer... so who am I to judge? The judge and jury must enjoy wings - he was acquitted yesterday.)

Having said that, I see they have an apartment for rent above the club - maybe I should consider moving closer to work!

Then again, maybe not. I only hope that when I return to my Duty Counsel (aka Lawyer of Last Resort) gig at the Landlord and Tenant Board next year that I do not actually wind up seeing the tenant who actually takes this apartment there for an eviction hearing. Here is my speculation on how that conversation would go:

Kristina: So, the landlord says you owe $3,000 rent. Do you?

Tenant: Well, yes... but...

Evil Kristina: But me no buts!!!

Tenant: Eh?

Kristina: Oh, never mind. Why did you fall behind in the rent?

Tenant: Well, there's way too much noise there. The music goes on until four in the morning. I can't sleep. The landlord doesn't care. So, in fact, I don't owe anything at all. My only question is, do I have to pay the $150 filing fee for the landlord's application?

Kristina: Well, it's not as simple as that....(while Evil Kristina whispers, nay... shouts!... "You moved in above a strip club! What the #)($*@#)$(*@)#$(@#* do you expect?!?!?!?"...

And so forth for another 20 minutes or so.

Anyway, time to get to work. I think I've mentioned that, being a very important legal researcher at present controlling lots of highly confidential information, I work in a very high security environment. Even the kitchen is a locked fortress!!

I managed to remember the code to get in (no small feat as it is different from the code to the main entrance... how do you think I keep my girlish figure???) - only to find this on the whiteboard:


Not only had it not been erased since Hallowe'en when the original tribute to my Hallowe'en costume was posted, but there have been embellishments! As you can see, I was so touched that my hands were trembling when I took the above photo. I tried again and got this detail shot:

Hmm. Do you think that this is actually a tribute, or a passive aggressive comment by an anonymous co-worker on my lunacy?

Well, it was then time to stop the analysis and get to work. Off to the Inner Sanctum:

(This sign actually should read "ATTENTION!!!! DO NOT POUND ON THE DOOR MULTIPLE TIMES AS IT DISRUPTS AND FRIGHTENS THE SUPPORT STAFF. YOU WILL BE MADE TO SUFFER VERY DRASTIC AND UNSPEAKABLE TORTURES IF YOU DO NOT SIMPLY RING THIS BELL (ONCE ONLY, PLEASE) INSTEAD" for all the effect the current version of the sign has. Sometimes we Canajans are just way too polite).

By some miracle I remembered the code and got in. And, I can't help but breach our high-level security protocols to give you a peek as to the sign you first see when coming into the office:

NB: for those people south of the 49th or across the Atlantic or Pacific, "L.L.B.O." is Canajan for "Booze Sold Here". I think it's some weird holdback from the days of the British Empire...)

And now you know the real reason that I love coming to work every day!!!

In signing off, here is another picture of the Cabled Newsboy Cap I made a couple of years back (and as you will see, it's not really sepia coloured, although sometimes I certainly look to be so!)I can't remember what brand of wool it was - something soft and non-scratchy. Pattern found in one of the Debbie Stoller books. It was fun and quick to knit.

Oh - and happy birthday, Jamie Lee Curtis! Doesn't she look fab! She doesn't need a newsboy cap to cover her rat's nest... er, hair.

snapshots from the work life of Brouhaha

Unfortunately, I do have to work to support my craft habits. Perhaps seeing my work environs will give further insight into the colourful and crazed mind of KB (as I am known at the workplace).

First things first... The other morning, I donned my fancy Pirates of the Caribbean costume and staggered out the door at 7:45. By 8:35 I was at my desk, hard at work. Please note that there are no photos of me working as the nature of my high end legal work is highly confidential (that's one reason, anyway... sounds good though, doesn't it?)

By about 10... well, maybe 9:30, it's time for the first smoke of the workday:
I look almost normal, don't I? Wait, check out the back view:
A tail!!

And what's protruding from the tail? Can you see it? No? Here's a close up:
(Evil Kristina must be on the prowl again. Luckily it's two days before PAYDAY... so no cash to blow at the LYS.)

Back to my desk and more high-level legal intellectual reading:Er...wrong photo:
That's better. Here are other examples of the intellectually stimulating material pervading my office:

... and some more legal insights:

Not to mention the usual incisive commentary on the modern workplace:And, of course, like any good lawyer, I'm always prepared for that emergency call which will send me flying to court on an urgent matter or to consult with the Ministry of Housing on high level policy issues (even though in this past five years I've not been to "big court" once except to heckle... er, support other colleagues - and am still awaiting that elusive invite from the Minister):

... and of course the requisite lawyer's briefcase:

... and, of course, the appropriate muted garb for the boygirl dressed for success:

(latest acquisition from the vintage shop up the street with the "cheap" rack in front - $5!!! although I'm not sure it isn't meant to be casualwear:

I can't even spell "suburbia"! I've never lived in a suburb... should I return it?... I don't know what to DOOOOOOO...)

Looks like I need to be taking another look at this, displayed prominently next to my computer monitor:

I acquired this needlepoint kit at Michaels' at the height of burnout from my regular gig, Lawyer of Last Resort at the Landlord/Tenant Board. I had to be very careful not to bring it there with me once it was finished, lest this kind of behaviour ensue:

TENANT FACING EVICTION: I've got cockroaches, mice and black mould. Sure, I owe three months of rent but that's only because I can't afford to live anywhere in the city when I only earn minimum wage... plus I have 5 kids and it's winter.

EVIL KB: (picks up the needlepoint and hold it in front of her face, pointing at it).

Or, worse, this:

TENANT WHO CAN'T EVEN SPELL "EVICTION", PAYS MORE THAN 3/4 OF MY SALARY IN RENT AND DEMANDS FREE LEGAL ADVICE: I have just one question. The swimming pool in my apartment building is two degrees too cold... I've been taking the temperature daily after my mani-pedi, and it is never at the proper level... I have written several letters to the landlord and called my councillor's office and the MPP who is a close personal friend of my husband and the landlord does nothing... so when you fill in my T2 tenants' rights form to sue my landlord, how do I ask for more than the maximum of $10,000 as a rebate?

EVIL KB: (who has just finished meeting with 8 tenants to whom she had to communicate the advice "It's time to move" and who is thinking "when your rent is $2,700 a month and you have a high-powered husband, why are you still renting anyway?!?, and who is trying desperately not to rip out her hair): Um... the Tribunal does not have jurisdiction to award you more than the statutory maximum, and moreover...

RICH TENANT: (interrupting) So, I should be going to Superior Court then? I don't want to do that because then I'd have to pay filing fees.

EVIL KB: Well, I don't know that there is a lot of legal merit to your complaint...

RICH TENANT: (interrupting again) Of course there is... I have this on authority from two real lawyers, who work on Bay Street...

EVIL KB: (who is now thinking "Well, then, why don't you retain one of them and let them charge you $10,000 for your bogus high-end whiner complaint which will get you nothing, and stop bothering me?": Let me finish. Since there is no by-law or statute regulating what temperature swimming pools should be kept at...

RICH TENANT: Yes, there is - it says 80 fahrenheit. Mine is 78.

EVIL KB: (who knows that no by-law has said anything in Fahrenheit in Canada since at least 1977). Where did you see that written down? (hauling out the by-law book) Here - why don't you point it out to me?

RICH TENANT: well... er... I didn't look at the by-law per se - I must have seen it in a case I found on the internet.

EVIL KB: (who is thinking "Oh, so I spent $30,000 and 4 1/2 years for nothing qualifying as a lawyer. You know how to be a lawyer after 10 minutes surfing the internet!!!! Man, am I a jackass or what???") What was the name of the case?

RICH TENANT: Now you listen here!!! My taxes pay your salary (EVIL KB thinks: "oh really? well, when I see your signature on my paycheque, then you can make unreasonable demands of me, OK?" and then starts plotting her next move on the computer backgammon game beckoning from her screen)... the landlord doesn't care, you don't care, no one cares, no one pays attention to the middle classes, people on welfare get all the breaks...

EVIL KB: (picks up the needlepoint and hold it in front of her face, pointing at it, then smashes it over rich tenant's head).

So, good thing I didn't take it to work. And a very good thing that I'm in a little research gig for a while... !

But back to that. Since I am there replacing other people on leaves, I have to move offices every time that I change "identities", as it were. This has meant three inter-office relocations in ten months. Not a big deal, but I've stopped unpacking:

Mind you, at four months in this particular space, I've lived here longer than I had in a couple of apartments. And, come to think of it, it is probably bigger than five or six of the apartments I've lived it!! Swank!!

And, in common with all of the apartments I've lived in (I think 16 at last count - since I moved here in 1991), I keep a small stash:
So all in all, I'm very happy and very lucky at my current workplace. I even have my own fancy nameplate:


(She even looks like me, doesn't she? I love clipart!! Other proof of this undying passion is this tribute to Emma Goldman, which was part of yesterday's entertainment for the co-workers.)

And finally, the requisite hyphenated canadian content:

I keep this hanging in every office I work at (even when I was a Lawyer of Last Resort sometimes moving locations once a week!) as a reminder of my more humble origins (on my mother's side - this is her grandfather's landed immigrant certificate from 1927) and so I don't become too big-headed as a result of my vaunted status as a professional...

...and of course the requisite greek good-luck symbol (which also creeps me out and keeps me from spending too much slack time on the 'net at work!)

Happy Ides of November! (aka the holiday known in the Brouhaha lexicon as PAYDAY, where I pay homage to the craft gods by hitting either the LYS or the art shop... or both!)