oh no! A craft I've never done....

A handsome, intelligent, devoted, dependable, innovative uncle of mine who just bought a motorcycle

CORRIGENDUM: This post has been revised - the original post simply referred to "an uncle of mine". It was rather churlish of me to forget to enumerate all of his fine qualities - which he wasted no time reminding me about, by the way. He is a prince among men, clearly. Sorry, Dennis!!

sent me an Email the other day, saying "I bet I've come across a craft you haven't done yet."

Well, I regret to say (given my big reputation as craft maven of the 21st century and all!) that he was right. Apparently, people are making fancy costumes out of... balloons!

I mean, check this out:

Now, any of you who have been coming here for a while know that this beauty would set my little heart aflutter. (But, as much as I like the hat, I do think it would look better with my Carmen Miranda headgear:

What say you?)

And here are some more wild balloon costumes:

A disco ball hat?! Hmm... Apokreas (greek orthodox version of Mardi Gras - the Greeks having to be different, it actually happens on a Saturday) must be coming up... which I really should know, and would know if I had a church calendar. Or if I ever bothered to go to church, for that matter... oh well.

Anyway, maybe I could use this as my costume? Um, perhaps a tad risque for that purpose, not to mention inadvisable for other reasons in Toronto in February...

So, how about this one?


Another homage to Carmen! Man, she has a lot to answer for. Must watch that Donald Duck movie where she appears again...or, how about this one!

An ideal Gay Pride costume, I think! I should make some up... I could probably get thousands of dollars selling them on Church Street during the festival...

But it's not just costumes they're making from balloons... there are some fancy evening dresses as well!

Check out this beauty in progress above - here is the finished result:

Pretty in purple. I do hope my friend Jennifer doesn't read this - she will want one. If you ever meet Jennifer, do not leave any purple garment unattended around her. I'm serious.

Although it is lovely, I think this one is more my style:

Sadly, in reality I cannot see ever making, much less wearing one of these. Why? I have a deep dark secret - I'm scared of balloons. Profoundly scared. This is probably why I don't have kids, actually - if I'm in the vicinity of a balloon I tend to cross the street - which is virtually impossible at a kid's birthday party, I suppose. So, I would probably be hyperventilating a month in advance of planning the kid's parties... sigh.

(Yes, yes... I know. Ridiculous. However, no more silly, I suppose, than being scared of clowns. Are you scared of clowns? I hadn't realised how many people were until I sent this linkaround my past workplace suggesting that I make eight masks as a little uniform for us to wear at the Landlord and Tenant Board. I had several freaked-out responses in return, and two serious requests never to send anything like that again. I felt badly... but just had never thought about the possibility of clownphobia. There but for the grace of God go I....

And in light of my balloonphobia, you can only imagine how terrifying I found this photo. I could hardly bear to upload it as that meant I had to look at it again.

My hands are now starting to shake too much to type. So, back to some pretty stuff...).

Here is my favourite with a fancy matching pillbox hat (!!!) and another lovely evening gown:

Don't you love the scalloped edging at the bottom! I wonder if it's any simpler to make than picot edging... hmmm....

And, there's even a wedding dress!


One question - how do you preserve it after the wedding? I smell a money making scam:

Brouhaha Heirloom Storage: we see to all your balloon dress storage needs*.

*we are not responsible for any breakage, deflation, etc and your one-time storage price is not refundable. I don't care that I charged you $500.00 telling you that it was far cheaper than paying $60-70 a month over time...always read the fine print before signing anything a lawyer gives you, OK? Expensive lesson but it could have been worse... it's not a cell phone contract after all where if you want to break the contract they make you mortgage your firstborn! (I didn't have a first-born to mortgage so they basically told me I would owe them $25.00 a month into perpetuity. Many, many strong letters, aggrieved phone conversations and complaint to the CRTC later, I was finally released from the contract. Which I guess I should have read. So there.

Well, that's enough beauty for one post, I think. Although I won't be rushing off to the balloon shop anytime soon, it's always wonderful to see ultra-creativity!

Cheers,

Kristina

PS. Just looked up Apokreas... it passed on 2 February! Sigh.

PPS. I had a very productive work training day yesterday...
Lots of talking heads = lots of knitting time. At the seminar I knitted everything from the little slip of paper (an impromptu marker, if you like) to the top!

camera drama and other trifles

Well, I guess I had a couple too many last night with the Tenant Advocates, because somehow I managed to lose both my camera and my fancy new beaded winter hat!!!

Sigh.

I have phoned approximately 50 cab companies in the somewhat misguided hope that the cab driver who brought me home actually found it and turned it in. No such luck.
Amazing that I already feel like I'm in withdrawal. I won't be able to replace it until next week Wednesday when I get paid. Don't think I can con JJ into replacing it for me any sooner ... let's just say he was not favourably impressed by the situation. And who could blame him, really?!

This is a particular shame as I had taken some very wonderful photos of the gang, who mostly gave me permission to post them here. Oh well - next time.

So, in the meantime, what else is new?

My coworker Paul made me a sign for my door at work. Apparently, this is what the coworkers think about me: The correct sign

I say "the correct sign" because he actually initially misspelled my title. This was the first sign that he made: The misspelled sign

Please feel free to use, adapt, etc. to your own purposes if this suits you!

Also, in other news, Batty sent me a link to this pattern, saying she though immediately of me!


A Carmen Miranda baby hat!

Now, how do you think I could adapt the pattern to make one for myself?!?

Happy Saturday! On the upside, I plan to do nothing but knit today. What a luxury!

Homage to Miranda

Who is this, anyway?

Is it Carmen Miranda, risen miraculously from the dead?

I wish! Sorry to disappoint, but it's only...

little ol' me.

I am, however, honoured to be in very good company indeed respecting my tribute to Ms Miranda - including Angie Pontani, who inspired this creation with her article in Craft Mag Vol. 4. I will admit that Angie looks far better in her version than I.

(If you are too young to remember Carmen Miranda (as, technically, am I - but in some respects I am an old fart trapped in a not quite middle aged woman's body!), you may well recall some other tributes to her: including Bugs Bunny and Chiquita Banana)

But actually I don't think I look half bad! At any rate, I look happy.

And, speaking of fancy dress - isn't this a great outfit? The dress is called is the Rhumba. I acquired some years back at Price Roman (which sells absolutely fabulous clothes) to wear to a wedding. I don't want to admit how much it cost... suffice it to say it was roughly equivalent to 20 Value Village sojourns or 50 dollar store runs.

The headdress, on the other hand, cost only $30... er, $42. $20.00 for this stuff:
... and $10.00 for this:
(Except that, ahem... the glue gun pictured perished last evening at my cruel and impatient hands. And if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you have probably already surmised that there will be a future post on this topic alone. I'm fairly predictable in my lunacy. A basket also perished but it was ugly anyway so I really don't care.)

I should note that JJ gave creative input to this project (he is a big fan of Carmen Miranda, having seen this flick when a young lad. And, by the way, it is highly recommended viewing for all ages. I loved it!). Most specifically, he proposed that I weave the orange flowers in with the purple - which worked perfectly.

I made a couple of modifications from what Angie suggested:

• mixed in some vegetables with the fruits and flowers

• added two scarves, one to wrap the basket and one to drape over the spandex tie
• omitted the sparklies and fake pearls, for now, anyway
  

(I did locate these...
... in the bedroom drawer - together with some other stuff which will be the subject of yet another post, I'm sure you'll be glad to know. Again I digress... I did try stringing these onto the headpiece but they didn't quite work. I'm sure they'll do for something else, though... stay tuned!)

However, I think that mine is taller than hers (hell, it's taller than I am!). heh heh. I had to duck coming through the doors to make my grand entrance, which kind of detracted from the grand aspect of the entrance. (The headpiece is 30" long from tip to bottom and about 10" wide.)

Oh well. The fruit look tasty anyway, don't they?

I will confess that I was not able to tie it properly to stay on my head unaided (I could have asked JJ to help, but wanted to surprise him). I could walk when holding it and even did a little samba for JJ (for at least 20 seconds!).

If I make another one (and I don't see why not) for actual wear, I think I'd try to go with some styrofoam fruit.

But, all in all, I'm very happy with this creation and it will make a great table decoration to match the Liquorice Allsorts.
In parting, here is a photo that I think represents the spirit of Carmen.
I do hope that she is resting in peace... either that, or having a ton of fun wherever she is now.

And, for the living, I wish you a happy St. Michael's Day. If you know any Greeks called Michael, try to crash the party. It will be a good one.

Olé!

(This is pronounced "olay", as in "oil of".) Like many North Americans, I learned whatever Spanish I know from Speedy Gonzales, so please pardon any spelling mishaps.

(It is a little known fact that Speedy Gonzales actually coined the phrase "Una cervesa* mas, por favor" - one of the most useful expressions in any language as far as I'm concerned!)

*Why didn't I put a link to Corona above? I don't like Corona. I don't like Moretti either, but for some reason I love the painting of the old guy they use to advertise.) And if you were wondering, the word for "beer" in Italian - and Greek, for that matter, is birra. The Italians must have stolen it from the Greeks. Far simpler to remember for this ignorant North American.

Anyway, for those less tutored in Spanish than I, olé means "Opa" in Greek (closest English translation I can think of right now is Yee-hah!!)

Why the Spanish exhortations in a Greek/Scottish household, you ask? Because I recently took photos of my favourite mosaic creation ever (having realised I lost most of the other ones when I dropped my former laptop last winter... don't fall asleep when blogging!!!), the Fiesta Chair!
So why not bore you with the story behind the creation today? I'm sure it won't be the first time I've made you either yarn or hit the back button!

I made this one a couple of years back. Here's my how-to:

1. Haunt the large garbage disposal in your apartment building until you come across a discarded child's chair.

It is rather fortunate that I don't have photos of the "before" picture. This may have been the ugliest chair ever seen. It was painted puce and had ripped burlap upholstery, probably because the poor toddler who was forced to use it took an X-acto knife to it in desperation.

So, of course I was completely thrilled!! (JJ, correspondingly, less so. He made me take it back outside, brought out a can of bug spray and sprayed it for about 15 minutes before I could bring it back up. I was afraid Super Mario might come and poach it...!)

2. Let the eyesore sit in your spare bedroom for a year and trip over it while you decide what to do with it.

No explanation needed here.

3. Break a Fiesta plate in the microwave by accident.

By the way, have you ever heard a plate crack in the microwave? It sounds like gunfire. When I woke up from my coma after being incapacitated when my head hit the ceiling, I was mighty peeved to learn that my favourite plate (which I had scored at my grandmother's house) was broken.
They LIED! I almost wrote a very, very strong letter indeed. But, given that it had sat in my grandmother's basement under two tons of canned goods for 20 years, I figured I'd save my sword-like pen for a worthier cause (such as writing to Loblaws to complain about their not having the $5/litre olive oil in stock and not offering raincheques...).

So, of course, I decided to break the only other Fiestaware in my possession (a small green side plate). All the broken pieces went into the spare room and then I spied the ugly burlap chair - A-ha!!!

4. Dip into the five gallon drum of paint lying around the spare room, and paint the eyesore.

That paint may well have been JJs one and only Treasure from Trash. He brought it home from work but didn't know what colour it was. He works at a military base so I just assumed it was either khaki or institutional beige. However, I had no other paint in the house and was too lazy to walk five minutes to the Pro Hardware. So, I cracked into it. Wedgwood Blue!! Yee-hah!!!

(Let me tell you that JJ was not best pleased that I cracked open five gallons of paint to use on a baby chair. However, he sold the rest to Mario, our building superintendent, so all was not lost.)

5. Break some more crockery.

In this case, an old teacup from my grandmother's collection. This detail is my little trick to stop people from trying to sit on the thing...

6. Raid your stash for beads and tiles and glue everything onto the chair.

Again, rather self-explanatory. However, I was glad to note that the middle part of the plate was more or less intact... so of course I smashed it (OPA!!!) and reassembled it in the middle of the chair seat.


I then discovered that this feature works very well as a plant stand. So, that is its official use. And, if there was a plant in existence which could live for more than a day in my presence, it would probably hold a plant all the time.

This is the one piece of furniture in my apartment which is never, ever draped with clothes/books (can one drape books? hmm)/empty cigarette packages or other general detritus of the Brouhaha lifestyle. So, that in itself should tell you its value to me!

Happy birthday to Joni Mitchell!

Cheers,

Kristina

PS. here is my other Spanish delight in progress:

I would have finished it tonight except that I managed to wreck my brand new glue gun. You can look forward (?!) to that story when I post pics of the finished object. Suffice to say it will be something along the lines of this when finished - perhaps a tad shorter as I am really not all that tall and I don't know that this would suit JJ.

In my travels today I also acquired a felt hat form. Stay tuned for whatever is in store for it!


But wait! What's that in front of the head mannequin?
.

The comb JJ gave me, and a tube of crazy glue!

Oops.

Carmen lives!

I don't know whether to kiss or curse Holly for introducing me to Craft magazine. Now I will never get any work done!!

I fell in love with the mag after seeing this:

Homage to Carmen Miranda!

How can I not love a magazine where a burlesque entertainer (Angie Pontani) shows you how to make fancy headdresses! I don't any more have the body to wear thecute short sparkly outfit, but the headgear will go so well with this dress:

(The photo does not do it justice. I really need to buy a scanner. However, it is very sparkly, covered in sequins... I scored it for $20 at Thrift Villa in Parkdale to wear to my "I finally managed to become a lawyer" party. (Wanted to wear it to my actual call to the Bar, but figured they wouldn't call me then and I would have blown $35,000 for nothing. I refuse to show you the photos of me wearing the robes and tabs and looking very, very goofy. I have not had occasion to have to wear robes since, thankfully).

So - now I'm off to the Dollarama ASAP to find cheap fake fruit and maybe even a glue gun! I plan to make several for the first performance of the Club 425 Dance troupe (we have lessons at my workplace at lunchtime led by the fabulous Madame Jennie, who will not let me show a picture of her). The performance is at yet unscheduled, mostly because yours truly is a great dancer who can't follow set steps, unlike her equally talented co-workers in the troupe.

One of the dance tunes featured, I'm hoping, will come from one of these CDs which I finally scored yesterday after hunting high and low:



I should mention that my musical tastes after date back 50 or so years. I suspect that in a past life I was meant to be part of the Rat Pack, but was instead stuck inside the house in some Greek village with permission to leave once a year for church with my head covered in a kerchief.

But really, how can you not love a guy who actually recorded "Hair Goes Latin"???? (and if anyone finds this, I'll knit you a Tuscany in exchange.

I have to go now to upload 3 CDs worth of Edmundo Ros onto my iPod. It is a happy day indeed in the JK household (and JJ will surely be happy to stop listening to the caterwauling Greek selections I've been into for the last while!).

I will, however, leave you with a parting cheesecake shot of me doing the Wedding Samba decked out in my Tuscany and Montego Bay scarf (warning: if you don't like burlesque or nude back with love handles, skip this one...). This is my response to a dare/bet - the person who dared/bet me (who, by request, shall remain nameless) now owes me a skein of sea silk. Heh heh heh.

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Just holding my head because I don't have the towering fruit headpiece yet.